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  • 9 hours ago
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a phone call with my uncle

  • -phone rings-
  • Me:Hello?
  • Uncle:Hey it's John.
  • Me:Hey John! What's up?
  • Uncle:I was just wondering, do you guys still want me to fix the gate?
  • Me:Yeah. Are you able to do it today?
  • Uncle:Yeah um...funny story.
  • Me:Oh god....what?
  • Uncle:I'm in your pool. I've been here for a few hours I don't know how you haven't noticed me.
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  • 9 hours ago
  • 116

awkward-fallen-angel:

croatoanalex:

phils-mum-and-llama-placentas:

bangtidyniall:

I HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING

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RING TING TINGLING TOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER

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FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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IT’S STARTED

WHY IS THIS ON MY DASH ITS NOT EVEN AUGUST YET

CHRISTMAS IN JULYYYYY!!!!!!

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  • 9 hours ago
  • 244696

getsby:

cosmo sex tip: when he pulls out his penis begin singing “put that thing back where it came from or so help me”

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  • 9 hours ago
  • 83515

straight-as-a-curly-fry:

komlin:

livingonmusicals:

komlin:

livingonmusicals:

komlin:

livingonmusicals:

ok y’all 

how do i ask a boy out 

roses are red
violets are blue
guess what, my bed
has room for two

OH MY GOD NO

twinkle twinkle little star
we can do it in a car

STOP IT

row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream
merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
i can make you scream

I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory

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  • 12 hours ago
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awkwardnarturtle:

i-mahu:

There’s two types of anger one is dry and the other wet and basically wet anger is when your eyes water and your voice shakes and I hate that cause I feel weak when I’m crying while angry I like dry anger when your face is like stone and your voice is sharp I guess wet anger shows that you care too much and dry anger means you’re done.

This is the best description ever

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  • 12 hours ago
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liqhtly:

i have two moods:

1. everybody get the fuck away from me

2. someone come over and cuddle and watch movies with me

there is no in between

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  • 12 hours ago
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crowley-for-king:

adventuretime-with-teamfreewill:

nojointsfromdon:

thecapn:

wncst:

sam ‘freed’ lucifer

but let’s not forget that the first seal was broken by dean

#oh and that cas opened the panic room for sam to go kill lillith even though he knew that doing that would raise lucifer #come on now guys lets not blame sam for everything

the apocalypse was a group effort

teamwork

team free lucifer

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*boss ass bitch plays in background*

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  • 12 hours ago
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